The Daily News chronicles Bloomberg’s epic victory over the snow that barely was

It was significant enough for the paper of record to post a photo on page one: see all the plows on asphalt?

Meanwhile LA Times chronicles another epic triumph in another mythical war: the war for center.

ObamaΒ  dumped his base so much faster that the GOP – yeay him!

And men have won another victory in the war for …well, what they can get away with. Remember Hillary’s tears?

Edwards declared her unfit to be Commander in Chief…. They look good on Penis-Ameicans however. Whether they lost their grandma or just got ferklempt