Sometimes satire captures a situation better than anything else.

CAROLINE KENNEDY ASKS TO BE TIME’S PERSON OF THE YEAR

Everyone remembers the W speech as reported by the Onion

Bush: ‘Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over’

The Borowitz Report hit a good one on the surreal Caroline Kennedy story

Caroline Kennedy would like to be considered Time magazine’s Person of the Year for 2009 and has let the magazine’s editor know of her interest in the honor, aides to Ms. Kennedy confirmed today.

Comes complete with good justification for the demand

While some observers considered Ms. Kennedy’s bid to be premature, especially since 2009 has not officially begun, aides to the New York senatorial aspirant said that it reflected her view that 2009 will be a very big year for her.

No worse than Joe Conason’s reasoning for her Senate bid

The same criticism—that she’s only where she is because of her name—was leveled at her uncle Ted when he first ran for the Senate. Then again, we know how he turned out. If that is what she means to become, New York could do much worse.

And if I were appointed Queen of the World, I just know you could NOT do any worse  – oh, wait, I am but a commoner, what was I thinking! Back to Borowitz: not only is her demand justified, it becomes the very proof of qualification:

“I think Caroline’s calling Time magazine and asking to be put on the cover shows just what a tireless worker she is,” said cousin Kerry Kennedy.  “When she really wants something, she’s not afraid to roll up her sleeves and make a phone call.”
Her cousin said that having witnessed Caroline’s work ethic, she has no doubt that she is deserving of Time’s highest honor: “I can’t tell you how many times she’s gotten the wrong number, been put on hold, or had calls dropped altogether.”

Oh, the humanity! Almost as difficult as that yard sale she had to organize (OK, the article having been written pre-senate bid, doesn’t even mention her)

After all, here’s how hard she worked for the City

As often as not, they were greeted by an empty chair.

“I’d get it all the time – ‘Why isn’t Caroline at her desk?’” said a person who worked closely with Kennedy, who ran the Department of Education division that oversaw public-private partnerships from 2002 to 2004.

“But that missed the point. She didn’t need to be sitting at a desk,” the person added.

Obviously. Sitting on a chair is for commoners, working stiffs.

For a second it seemed like the anti-dynastic movement gathered steam as the democrats still have ambitions for the Mayor seat

Gov. David A. Paterson bristling over suggestions that her selection is inevitable, according to his advisers, and other leading Democrats concerned that she is too beholden to Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg.

Dayum! And  Bloomberg tried to be so discreet in his support!

Like for instance this guy:

The governor’s frustration follows reports last week that Kevin Sheekey, a top deputy to Mr. Bloomberg who has been advising Ms. Kennedy, had called a labor leader and told him that Ms. Kennedy was going to be senator, “so get on board now,”

Wow! Sounds just like that Obama lobyist writing to K street last summer

“Should ‘CHANGE’ occur in November as polls indicate, we should see a lot of people from Illinois moving to Washington, D.C., and taking key spots in an Obama administration. Now is the time to anticipate these changes.”

Yes, democrats will have to let Bloomberg change them (and dollar them too) because caroline could not even commit to support the party candidate

But her refusal to say over the weekend whether she would back a Democratic candidate next year, when Mr. Bloomberg will seek re-election as an independent, set off intense reaction among some in the party.

except later, via spokesman.

ekend whether she would back a Democratic candidate next year, when Mr. Bloomberg will seek re-election as an independent, set off intense reaction among some in the party.

A follow-up statement — in which her spokesman, Stefan Friedman, said that Ms. Kennedy “fully intends to support the Democratic nominee” — did not assuage those concerns.

Oh, come on, dems! It’s not like you have a shot at Bloomberg seat – he bought it fair and square! He barely needs this:


Imagine it’s a few months from now, with the New York mayoral race approaching. Senator Caroline Kennedy endorses Bloomberg and wraps her arm around him at event after event.